So, I am feeling very apprehensive. I am trying to get around to visiting schools about their Ph.D. programs, write a library paper, study for the GRE, act as T.D. for the Black Box, take classes, work with my youth group, and at least a half dozen other things that I can't remember. Which is just the problem. I can't seem to keep everything straight. I write one thing down to remember it, but then forget four things in its place. Then new things pop up. I try to manage my time, but then it just gets away from me. I've lost a very grounding and encouraging force in my life which makes it hard. I don't have anyone to bounce ideas and emotions off of anymore. The undergraduates just don't quite get it (not that I'm saying their stupid, but my problems are very different from their problems) and the other graduate students and I are too different. I have fun hanging out with both of them, but I need something more than that. Perhaps that is selfish though. I suppose I'm just gonna have to man up and do what I've gotta do.
There was a time not long ago that I felt like an adult. Now I just feel like a kid again. It is very frustrating to me. One step forward, two steps back. Two things keep me going. My faith and how that ties into my youth group, and the thought of a brighter future. One with perhaps less recognition than I once dreamt of, but of a simpler and happier life.
I miss the days of my youth when life was just get up, go to work, come home, hang out with my friends and family, and go to bed. I had time to chill, and chat. Time to think of things other than of myself and how to propel myself ahead of others. I taught high schoolers things they didn't know and shared my passion with them. I have a long way to go before I can do that with college students. I hope I can make it.
This post would have been better as a journal entry perhaps, but I was sitting in front of my computer, so here it is. Boy are you guys lucky. Anyway, Jon, out.
4 comments:
hey dawg!
i know you're crunched for time, but ANY time you want to call to chat, catch up, vent, and bounce ideas, just give me a ring. I'm never too busy to answer a call from you! Never.
If i miss the call, i will call you back.
No doubt, this is going to be a rough year for you busy-ness wise. But i know you can totally handle it. Plus, once you're done, you can move to CO (no pressure) and hang out with Candace and I once again! huzzah!
Life is good, my friend. Parent teacher conference thingie tonight, which i'm not looking forward to too much. *sigh* but hey, it's cool baby!
I hope you get your ducks in a row soon, Jonny-boy. I know what it's like when they're not.
word out my friend!
I LOVE to bounce ideas around! AND if I have the time when you check out other colleges I would love to tag along! Have a b-day party this evening, but hey give me a call and I can call you back! Maybe you need to put them into your calendar on your computer!
M
What's graduate school without a little crazy crazy, huh?
Fiebig sent me an e-mail with the following at the end of it.
'Getting the PhD is more about persistence than it is about smarts."
I think that could also apply to the M.A. Just think how good it will feel to be called "Master Wehmeyer." Believe me, it feels good. Even when you only hear it because you forced your friends and spouse to say it. But you know.
"You've come far and though you're far from the end you don't mind where you are 'cause you know where you've been."
Yes, hello.
I'm so embarassed about my typo.
Wait, it wasn't a typo? Yeah! What am I saying? I am MASTER Joice and I know big words like "distrub." So big in fact, that it isn't even in the Oxford English Dictionary, so don't even try looking. Yeah. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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