Naturally, then, God must tear it apart. I am learning to be flexible; that the best laid plans of mice and men mean nothing to God. I look at my friends and how they have taken big and bold steps and are terribly happy. Some have picked up and moved to far away lands doing things they have never done before, others have gotten married, others are having children, others are continuing their education. All these big steps help lay out to me that if I desire to do what I want to do and be who I hope to be, then I must allow God to spring some surprises on me without complaining about how I would have to rearrange too much to do whatever he is asking. God never makes me do things. He always just provides me with opportunities. I feel as though I have let too many slide past me because I had to help someone do this or be here for that or maintain my commitment here.
So, as it is with all workouts, I have just become aware of my problem (despite obvious signs and dear friends saying it plainly to me) and now I am beginning to do the exercises...and they hurt. Sometimes I feel as though I'm letting people down. I will almost call it off, but then I think of God's desires for me and press on only to find out that the people I thought I would be hurting are my biggest allies in the matter.
So as I acquiesce to all the things I never thought possible, the impossible is starting to take shape. As muscles tear, they heal and allow me to bend a little further. It will take time, but God continues to form me.
Here's to the adventures that await me. The pain that will be born from them. The growth that will be apart of them. The joy that is inherent in them.
A journey can only be judged a success or failure at its end. My journey is not over yet.
