Here's what I mean: I stand in class delivering a lecture. I ask a question. Now, I'm not saying it's a simple question that everyone should know, but when no one in the class raises their hand I get annoyed. I finally encourage them to be bold enough to say something, and the answer comes out like this: "Um...maybe it's like when you kinda feel like there's a sorta desire to maybe, like, eliminate, a sorta, like, bad, like, feeling that is kinda building up, like, in side you, maybe..."
What's interesting about this is that the answer is totally in line with the question, meaning that the student was right! Why do they, we, use so many qualifiers? Kinda, sorta, like, maybe, etc. I think it's because we are so scared of being wrong, and we are so convinced that we are going to be wrong. Therefore we tack on as many qualifiers as possible, that way if we are wrong we can say, "Well, I said maybe, kinda-sorta!" Magically, all in one sentence, we have covered ourself to accept glory if we are right and to deny blame if we are wrong. It's the same idea as hanging on to the rear of a ship so that if it happens to sink you'll be the last one to go under. Also known as cowardice.
My Mother's boss has her fill out a time sheet for the hours she works. Normal. However, she is told not to clock more than seven hours a day. No overtime. Also normal. What is abnormal is that she is expected to work more than seven hours. When she tells him the mathematical problem his response is to just fill it out as if she is only working seven hours. This is also known as lying. Why is a person, in a position of authority, asking their employee's to lie? Money? Even that would be a little understandable, but I think it's even worse than that. I think he is just scared to deal with the superintendent, school board, or just the problem itself. Furthermore, he is a deacon at a local church. Way to stand up for God and his people.
Along the same lines I read a comment on a post of The World as Best as I Remember It. It stated that bosses tend to try and soften a criticism with a compliment. "You did a great job, but it could be better." What this comment was saying is that we should be bold enough to let our criticisms stand on their own as well as our compliments. Why water things down so that everything we say becomes meaningless? Be careful with your criticisms, don't throw them around without thinking about the implications, and be equally careful with compliments. Don't deliver a compliment and negate it with a criticism or deliver a criticism and negate it with a compliment just because we don't want to build someone up too much or tear them down too hard. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If someone deserves a compliment, give it to them. If someone needs to be critiqued, give that to them. Do it graciously. Accept compliments as well as criticism graciously. Don't back down and don't be scared.
Now, I'm not arguing that we should be jerks and throw our opinions around as if we are always right and that our word is the end all be all. I'm just saying to be confident. Answer as if you know. Lets start eliminating qualifiers such as like, kinda, maybe and sorta from our vocabulary. Let's be brave enough to stand up for what's right, even if it means more work. More importantly, let's start learning all we can so that when we answer a question we can answer with authority and know we are right.
In the book of Joshua we are commanded to be Brave and Very Courageous several times. This is a small thing to do to be brave and courageous. It may not change the world, but it will change your outlook on the world and that change can change the world.
