Just last night I realized that I was rushing so much that I was missing out on life. Not that life was passing me by, or that I was passing life by. I was just ignoring life. I was too caught up in what I thought needed to be done when I actually was accomplishing very little at all. I resolved to take things a little slower. Not to do less, but just find the rhythm again.
Have you ever been to a concert or a church service where the people start clapping but they can't clap on beat? It feels awful. It feels rushed and slow all at the same time; a terrible mish mash of all the worst things in music. That's how my life has been the past few weeks.
Tonight, after work, I came home with a new frame of mind. I went grocery shopping. I cooked a good, slow meal. I ate it and enjoyed it. I did some laundry. Then to top everything off I picked up my guitar, which hasn't been played, tuned, or otherwise handled for over a year, and re-strung it. It took me several times to remember how to do it even, it had been so long. I finally got it though. I went through each string, tuning it, not too carefully, but just close enough. Finally I strummed it. Mmm. I started to play a familiar and easy tune on it, "Almost heaven. West Virginia..." I got self conscious about the people downstairs. Will they be anrgy that I'm playing? It's only 8:30, but still. I put down my guitar. I stood to walk away, but I just couldn't. Instead I got my guitar book out. I flipped to a song that I haven't played in over a year, "Working all day for a mean little man..." Oh, it felt so good. So golden. No one but me could have possibly known what song it was because of how bad I was playing, stopping between each chord to find the fingering, but it doesn't even matter.
After playing till my un-calloused fingers ache I realize it has happened. I have found the rhythm. I am finally home.
I know I often write about the power of music on here. I just cannot help myself. I miss music. I miss the idea that we can play music whenever we want, but choose not too out of embarrassment or the idea that you have to be really good to make it happen. I, for one, don't want to live in a world that is as critical as that anymore. "How lame, he's playing an accordion." "This guy started to play the guitar, but all he could do was strum chords, it was dumb." Naturally I don't want to listen to bad music, but what about good music played simply. Yes please! I want to live in a world where friends can get together and play music for each other no matter what instrument they play or how good or rudimentary their playing is! Harmonicas, guitars, pianos, trumpets, oboes, I want to hear them all.
A bit rambling. I'm sorry. It has been a long time since I've posted and I can feel my mind trying to figure out this writing thing again. Just think about what has been on my mind: Rhythm, home, music by the people we know best in the places where we know our rhythm.
