To be honest, I don't have much to say right now.  But I feel like I have much to share.  And that is something indeed.  I am so...I want to say content, but it is far, far beyond contentment.  I am burdened with an abundance of joy so pure that to fully express it would either end with me in an asylum or at the very least in jail over night.  So I choose to express it by listening to music that brings me much ease and to savor it, knowing that no one I pass on the street tonight on my way to the library is feeling what I feel.  I am confident in this because they do not have the friends and family I have.  Furthermore they do not posses the perspective on life that I am privy to.  

I look around and everything I see is a miracle.  An awesome opportunity to live and breath and see.  The crumbiest brick on the dirtiest building holds magic in my life; magic for what is was, for what it has seen, and what it is.  My life is filled with miracles and it overwhelms me.  How fortunate am I to see the sunrise, to experience the waft of fresh air through my house, to smell a pot of coffee brewing just for me in the kitchen, to get to walk through a town along a path oh so familiar now that was once entirely foreign, to sit in a classroom where learning is not fun but merely life and breath and sustenance.  I count myself fortunate because I would challenge you to say that in the last week you have felt as blessed as me, as showered with miracles.

I have also realized, thanks to Dandelion Wine, that my life is too full of nothingness.  Meaningless tasks, made meaningless by my meaningless outlook on life and the eradication of the meaningful tasks in favor of convenience and leisure.  To break the spell of this meaninglessness I decided to begin focusing on old tasks in a new way and to adopt new tasks.  In this vein I have begun doing laundry on every tuesday night, regardless of anything else.  This may not be new to anyone else, but it was certainly new to me.  Also, I began to do my dishes every night.  No matter what.  Once again, perhaps nothing new, but completely foreign to me (remember I don't have a dish washer).  Furthermore I have begun to do my ironing on Saturday afternoons come rain or shine.  All my ironing from the laundry I did the week before.  Finally, I have been making my bed every morning.

 

These small tasks that we have managed to shrink, dilute, and even dispose of, were at first annoyingly painful.  After about three weeks of managing them now though I find joy in doing them.  Not only joy, but fulfillment and meaning.  My closet looks neat from the ironing.  My clothes are put away and neatly stacked in my chested drawers.  My kitchen is clean every morning.  and every evening when I go to bed.  My bed room is no longer flooded with two weeks of dirty laundry.  I wear what I want when I want with out panic of, "oh no!  It's dirty!"  I crawl into a nice neat bed every night.

It may not seem like much, but it has really changed my life.  I look for new things to do everyday as well.  Just to fill up the empty space where I normally insert t.v.  I think I'll also start to sweep every night.  Just one more small thing that allows me to think without thinking of only myself.  It is very liberating.  I strongly encourage everyone to do it.  

Anyway.  I suppose I'm done.  Just some sensations I needed to pass on tonight.  Take it easy!