Chickaboowa

The sun is shinning today, and that is wonderful.  I love the spring, not because of the beautiful weather, but rather because of the promise of summer it brings.  Right now all that seems so far away.  There is too much between me and that end right now.  So much to do, and absolutely not time in which to do it.  Almost makes me feel sick.  When I say there is not time, there is of course time, I just have such a propensity to waste that time that is so graciously given to me.  I try to remember why I'm here and what that means, but then I just get overwhelmed.  That's not to say that I don't do any work, cause I do, a lot of work.  It's just that I don't feel like I'm getting enough done.  Oh well.  This is what I signed up for, here we go!

I'm discovering the beautiful world of Pandora.com and loving it.  What a wonderful thing.  I've got all my favorite forms of music separate stations so I can listen to whatever mood I'm in.  Next I think I'll try combining genres and see what happens there.  Terribly exciting.

A lot to think about these days.  Just here at school and in the world.  I feel like my head is going to explode.  I often don't even know where to start.  I definitely miss the days of living in my small hometown where there were so many stars, and song birds, and clear skies, and just a real and different sense of freedom.  Things were odd because life ended there at 5 pm, but it was wonderful because there are different ways to be alive other than staying up late.  Going for a walk in the woods.  Helping to cut some wood.  Cut some grass.  Drink a cup of coffee with the early sunlight pouring in the windows.  Cooking some breakfast and enjoying it with friends and family.  

I will never have such a relaxed way of life as I do right now, and I feel like I'm wasting it.  All I ever do is stress out.  When I should be doing something I sit around and stress about how it's not done.  

Bleh.  I'm done.  I don't write this so I can dump on everyone.  I should save these thoughts for my personal journal.  It is a beautiful day today and I'm loving every ray of sunlight that makes it's way down to me.  I think I might go home and take some time there in my house.  I can work there rather than try to work here and fail.  I look forward to the walk home.  Wiedersehen!