There is a lot that happens in our lives, and I'm told that all of these moments and events shape us and make us who we are.  They build character and teach us about ourselves or about the human race in general.  I have found this to be true, but it simply does not make living life any easier.  I find that I am given hope only to have it destroyed.  The repetition of this brings me low, to a point where I don't dare to hope.  Then I remind myself that, "These three remain:  faith, hope, and love..."  Yet I fear to hope only to be let down again.  Maybe if I don't hope for something, the thing I hope for will happen.  It's weird and confusing, but there it is.  There are some possibilities for my future, I have recently been given reason to hope, but I am scared to hope.  Scared because I don't want my hope or confidence or whatever to destroy my chances. Living where I am I have been given much more than I've had for the past two years.  I find that I grow very comfortable, but I am very aware that I need to start pulling my weight.  It'll happen, I grow impatient, but as my mother always says, "God is seldom early, but He is never late."  Ack, it is hard to hear sometimes when I am anxious, but true.  I also must remind myself that I cannot say, "God, here are my plans, now bless them."  Rather I must make a conscious effort to say, "God, your will be done in my life according to your great wisdom."  Very difficult for me to do regularly, and even harder when I do not see a clear path.  Everything will work out, no worries, I'm just unloading.  "We're all lost in the woods, even the Captain.  The only difference is he likes it there."  "No, the only difference is that's the only place I can see a clear path."