Stranded, Stressed, and Extemporizing

It's kinda like being at a party that would be great except for that guy that has drank too much and won't leave.  He keeps making inappropriate comments, hitting on girls he shouldn't be, and spilling his drink on everyone.  What should be a good experience is an awful one.  All you can think about is leaving at your earliest convenience (cause you didn't drive, you rode with someone) without offending the people you like.

That's how I feel.  How soon can I leave?  And where will I go once I walk out the door?  Gotta have a plan.  At some point you start not to care about who you hurt, you're just dying inside and can't wait anymore.  I used to love my job; on the most base level I do love what I do, just not where I'm doing it.  All I can think about is how much better I'll be if I can do what I do somewhere else.  I'll be a better teacher, better theatre artist, better person.

When I put it like that I hear "it is a poor workman who blames his tools" echoing in my head.  I guess I'm not blaming my tools, just my workshop.  If a carpenter walks into a machine shop they may have a hard time doing their job too.  It is better for a carpenter to do their work in a wood shop.  Their work will be better, they will be happier, and therefore they will be a better carpenter all around, just by changing the place where they work.  Right?

Alright, enough metaphors/similes/hypothetical situations.  I just have some poison I need to get out.  I get frustrated because I don't like my situation but I also feel as though I don't do anything to change my situation.  My inaction is almost more a source of my ire than my actual situation.  I feel like a completely different person than I was three years ago.  I don't like that because I don't feel like the person I've become is a person of my making or a person of God's making, but a person that has been forced into a mold and cast into someone else.

So, there's that.  I know exactly what to do to fix it.  I gotta walk out the door (ok, just one more allegory) and just keep walking.  Timing is crucial, not as crucial as I'd like to think it is, but it is important.  One day at a time.  What about tomorrow?